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Beloved's Transformation
Chapter 1 from Victorious: An Army Awakens
Victoria Boyson
www.victoriaboyson.com
Making her way through the dense, dark forest, Beloved was a determined traveler. She was confident Holy Spirit was leading her and His heart speaking to her was earnest in her prospective journey. The night was permeated with a damp coldness that made her spirit shiver, but she longed to give an answer to the pervasive questions of her heart. Although this forest had terrified her in the past, with unwavering bravery, she continued to plunge through the trees laden with sorcery that seemed determined to hinder her progress.
As she traveled, she remembered all she had endured since her awakening from the deep sleep. Memories flooded her mind of the lonely separation from the prophetic host she loved so much, and the painful recollection of her visit to the river of shame where millions were held captive by deception, awaiting their unfortunate end. She knew no matter what she'd endured, her mission had not changed. Indeed, Lord Jesus had commissioned her and the host to awaken the sleeping masses, who were to become His last-days army. Truly, without them she would not stand a hope of saving anyone from the grip of the river's strong current.
On and through she proceeded, pressing through heavy branches, searching for a clearing in the dense woods. She could see very little at this point and in the dark all things attempted to undermine her courage, to distract and convince her of the hopelessness of her journey. Climbing over large downed trees and rocks that seemed determined to hinder her progress, only obedience could persuade her to seek out this place on her own, for the path was heavy with dark spirits and demonic oppression.
Beloved was so afraid of this forest when Jesus took her to the river of shame. However, through the attacks launched against her, fear concerning it could no longer hold her. Yet she knew instinctively the journey would be one of the greatest tests of her life. Indeed, after what seemed like an eternity of desperate struggle through the forest, she sensed a break in the trees ahead. She could hear what she thought was the rippling of water running up a river's banks. The air smelled old, dank and made her shudder as if laden with death.
Slowing as she neared the end of the woods, she tarried to survey the scene. It was then she spotted the outline of a tall, slender woman standing in the light of the full moon, while the thick, hovering trees clung to the night like a dark oppressive shadow.
As she approached the scene, she noticed the woman was dressed as a bride. Beloved could only see the outline of a gown and veil lit up by the faint light breaking upon her while the figure stared out aimlessly over the intense dark water.
Beloved wondered why a bride would be there. Was she searching the water in anticipation of someone?
Suddenly, as Beloved came up from behind her, the bride turned abruptly to face her as if she had been expecting her.
Jumping back at the sight of her, Beloved jolted with fright at the woman's sudden advance. Her concentrated gaze filled her with uneasiness, while the shadows of the forest hid the bride's face from view.
Curiosity kept Beloved in her place as much as the comfort she felt from her Holy Guide, who spoke to her heart. His words kept her calm as she peered back, trying desperately to see the woman clearly in the dim moonlight.
As the dark clouds of the night drifted past the moon, its light shone brighter for a moment, revealing the woman's face. Beloved's piercing gasp of horror stabbed like a knife into the stillness of the night.
Overwhelmed with dread, her feet seemed nailed to the ground while her eyes could not leave the face before her.
The woman was indeed a bride, but her countenance was not beautiful nor was it a normal human face. No, the bride wore two faces, both of equal emptiness and grotesquely she stared at Beloved through her vacant dark eyes. Her black hair shone with blue tints as the moonlight revealed its dirty, stringy tresses that seemed alive with hidden creatures concealed within its unkempt coiffures.
Torn and disheveled, her gown was as distorted as her facial expression. Although resembling bridal attire, it was blackened into a bedraggled, straggly state. She couldn't be certain whether she should pity the woman or defend herself against her.
Beloved stood frozen in confused fear by the woman's appearance. Suddenly, the bride opened both her mouths to speak. Her voice was like a hundred voices speaking all at once, reverberating through a thousand cold, hallow caverns, and it settled over her like a blanket of oppressive fear.
"Greetings,
Beloved. I'm so glad yoooou havve cooome heree. I have beeeeen foooollowing youu. How special you areee! So verrrry special. You have vaaaluable insight, Beloved. Vaaaluable. You are sooooooo giiiifted. So
giffftted." She hissed as she attempted to flatter her, but her flattery unsettled Beloved and the woman was visibly displeased at not receiving the appreciative response she'd expected. As vexation swept over her faces, her eyes flashed with an inner rage.
In an attempt at stifling her anger, the woman continued. "You have poteeeeential, Beloved," she
hissed with pretended discernment while vainly masking condescending disdain. As she tried to gain the upper hand, she leaned into Beloved and said, "I would like to help you, sweeeetie. I could realllly help you,
Beloved. Do you seeee all I have created heere?" She motioned with her hands toward the expanse of the thick, black lake before them filled with those who'd chosen a life of idolatry and witchcraft. It was
clear to her those in the lake were proud to be there, feeling powerful they had no idea they were held captive by her.
The woman waited for her reaction, almost daring her to show her true emotions so she
could explode her wrath, but Beloved managed to disguise her disapproval of the murky abyss.
Attempting to bait Beloved, she switched from condescension to passive aggression. "I've been watching you,
young woman, and I know aaaalll about you. You have such a cute, little mission; it's just darling. I will praaaaay for you, Beloved."
Beloved's eyebrows shot up in response to her blatant rudeness
and threat of "prayer," which encouraged the woman to continue. With a widening smirk, she added, "I can be of greeaatt assistance to you, my sweeetie," lips dripping with lordliness. "I
know sooooo many people... I have soooooo many friends.... All those who matter follow me. I've worked with..." as she continued, Beloved's mind began to wander.
She sensed in her spirit a figure
approaching them from somewhere behind her. It was just entering the dark woods. Beloved felt certain it was someone sent by the Father to help her face this foe.
"...just to name a few!"
Her
attention snapped back.
"Who do yoooou know, Beloved?"
Beloved couldn't answer. Her mind froze with the question that felt more like an accusation.
"Of
course, I know you have such a smaaaall host of prophetic friends, but you have been drudging after Jehovah. What has He dooone for you? He's forgotten all about yooou. Do you really think He meant to heeelp you,
Beloved. He doesn't even know you are aliiive. If you will put yourself in myyyy hands, I can make you BIGGG! I know eeeeeveryone who maaatters, I will promooote you. You are sooo small, just a baaaaby, because
you've been laaazy and you don't know the right peeeople. You are being waaasted. You're gifts are so preccccious, Beloved. I can heeelp you use your giiiiifftts."
Beloved could bare no more. Her
heart and mind were flooded with a hazy fog that made her hope sink. She wrestled with reality. To hear her mission - which she viewed as more of a journey of love with her heavenly Father - talked about in such a shallow
manner, unsettled her. She deeply felt the impact of the accusations against the Father. Beloved began to feel all wrong in herself.
Sensing Beloved's weakness, the creature grew more emboldened with her. "I
was told allll about you, Beloved. You cause trouble wheeerever you go. You are a baaaad seed. They said you were neeegative, but I stuck up for you. I told them that you were only negative because you didn't praaay
enough, like I do. What do you say to that, Beloooovveed?" She smiled broadly in both faces as she wove her words around every accusation with intention to embed each one deep into Beloved's
heart.
Beloved, close to tears, pleaded with her, "What do you want from me?"
"What do III waaant from youuu…?" She threw her head back and laughed, shaking the trees all
around them. "Nothing but your soul, dear one." She continued looking right through Beloved, searing her mind with her round black eyes. "That's all! I want you to boooow to me and worship me. There is sooo much God has kept from you. Heee didn't want you to know the truth about meee. He knows I haaave the power to answer your heart'sss desires. I have what you neeeed! Live while you are young, giiirl. Did God reeeaaally say there would be a judgment daaay? Did He saaay you can only seerve Him? What is He afraaaid of? If you don't worship meee, you will neveer experience the depths of truuuuth I alone possess. You will neeever know trueee enlightenment."
Her
mouth stopped moving now. Held stationary, it began to drool as her vicious voices continued to speak. "You will suffer with the reeest of the looow-life on Earth, while weee attain hiiigher levels spiritual nothingnesssss. You won't need to ssserve God, Beloved. You can becoooome God. All I want is your soul. And I will give you the wooorld..." she
continued as the lake behind her grew even darker.
Coming alive, it whispered with activity. Something was stirring within it. Then, like a beast awaiting its prey, what had seemed like vague, dull malevolence in
the water was suddenly awakening with unprovoked licentious delight.
The river was teeming with evil creations of the dark bride's wantonness, witchcraft and idolatry of every kind. All who had given her their
worship were held captive. Even those who'd wanted her power gave over every accursed chain of their life's meaning to her. And her dark lake was filled with her worshipers.
A dark, penetrating shadow fell
across the woman's face that spread into a lurid grin. Her attempted perversion of God's motives had done the trick and all the old demons that plagued Beloved were finding their familiar home in her thoughts. As
she accepted the well rehearsed lies, the atmosphere around her grew even more sinister and vicious.
Desperately seeking heavenly Father's wisdom, Beloved felt nothing in her spirit but blank emptiness. "Father!" she whispered. "Help
me, Father!"
Falling back toward the dark forest and hitting the hardened black dirt, Beloved's consciousness searched for her boundaries. Needing something to give her a sense of who she was, the
battles of her past deluged her mind. Like a torrent, the flood of accusations worked to convince her she was bad, abased and would be damned. Feeling unworthy of mercy, self-hatred and shame crept in all around, caressing
her shoulders like an old friend. She felt herself losing control.
Horrified, Beloved searched for wisdom, but her mind was being lulled down into the easy path of least resistance. The darkened forest behind
her fluttered with excitement, matching the degeneracy and evil of the lake. Struggling on the ground in emotional agony, all Beloved could do was watch as this evil woman stood over her, waiting to deal the final
blow.
Studying her with donnish delight, the evil bride watched as hopelessness grabbed on to Beloved's mind. Hitting at her with the old familiar lies, demons poured over her like a starving mob. Now with rapt
viciousness, they scrambled to regain their possession once again, eager to recover their lost territory. She was a prize!
All the lake's creatures, especially the dark bride, knew what Beloved really meant to
the kingdom of the Creator. She felt proud to have coerced the mind of the Father's Beloved. So, with the return of their bounty, they attacked with unparalleled ferocity. Jealous hatred disguised as pious nobleness
fueled their war against her, impatient to enslave her mind again.
"There's something really wrooong with you," the woman jabbed with a voice dripping with disdain. "No one will ever
love you. No one has ever wanted you. It's the way you act. You need to fixxxxxx yourself. You are pointless. What use are you? You are too weak; you need to be more powerful. You are too merciful. You are too negative,
too sensitive, too positive." The words were all too familiar to her, and in the woman, Beloved saw all the faces of those who'd been used to accuse her in her past. And they sang out like a chorus of destructive wolves.
As long dark tentacles began to unfurl themselves from underneath the counterfeit bride's gown, the black lake, too, joined the demons in their song as if to distract Beloved with an evil dirge of demonic declarations. Orchestrated by the evil creature, the atmosphere was filled with their sinister heinous music, while her tentacles crept subtly toward her prey.
Enjoying their triumph over her, the creatures of the dark lake sang out with evil glee, "There
muuust be something wrooong with you!" While the phony bride felt heinous enjoyment that nearly made her drunk with sadism, reveling in the pain she'd caused Beloved.
Lying face in the dirt, Beloved
wanted to give up and die. But something in her began to feel a semblance of strength, so, looking to the Father, she let the death-filled words being sung over her penetrate her mind. They washed over her and she started
thanking God for every horrendous word and accusation thrown against her. For, they were causing the death of all that needed to die in her, all the things in her heart that clung to the approval of others. The wanting
desperately to be understood had made her weak and vulnerable to their abuse. She let it consume her until there was nothing left in her that cared about their opinions and accusations, until there was nothing left but the
righteousness of Christ - which was one immovable reality they could not take away. Indeed, I am nothing, but, in Him, I am everything He is! she reasoned in her mind.
As she lay, she felt the ease of pain leaving her soul and it made her heart laughed - a little a first, and then more. She knew she was dead to them and Holy Spirit's strength was rising in her...
"I don't care," she whispered to herself as she lay facing the dirt. She was conscious of the sudden quiver of fear that shot through her accusers as her whispered words were felt in the spirit-realm. But she wasn't saying it for their benefit; it just felt good to say the words. She was saying it for her own heart, so she said it again, "I don't care." Again and again, she proclaimed the words. It made her happy to say them, because she truly meant them.
She felt freedom and delighted in it as she spoke the words over and over to herself. She ministered to herself as she lay in the dirt. Eyes closed, she felt her heart opening to Holy Spirit's growing power in her as she proclaimed the truth.
Suddenly, she saw in the spirit a giant hand reach out for her. A beautiful hand Beloved knew she could trust came right to her face. She could see it in detail and knew instantly it was the hand of Lord Jesus, her Rescuer. She reached up and grabbed it with both her hands and embraced it with a kiss. He then brought her up into His lap and made her feel like a little girl again, safe and protected. Oh, how He loved her.
All of a sudden, she was taken up into a Mighty Current of Wind. Instantly propelled straight up into the sky, she burst out of the earth's atmosphere. Above the cosmos of the planet, she hovered in the midst of open space. Held by the hand of the Lord in the moonlit space, caliginous except for the moon and the thousands of stars gleaming down on her in brilliant splendor. Breathtaking stillness engaged her senses like a gentle breeze, she felt free from the fears of the earth and was entirely herself as Father had designed her.
"I'm not afraid of the dark anymore, Jesus," she spoke into the atmosphere of space.
Suddenly, shafts of light filled with dancing sparkles shot up from the earth and encircled her as if it were dressing her in a gown of translucent, illuminated streams of Shekinah Glory. Around and around, they circled her until she was covered in streams of light of various hues. Lastly, it surrounded her head, crowning Beloved with a garland of brilliance. Cocooned by the light, she felt embraced and loved. She knew then the light was Holy Spirit as He restored her soul, reclaiming her from the attacks she'd endured.
Feeling strength like she'd never known cascading through the rawness of her soul, she felt like a baby again held in the arms of the Great Comforter. Restored, they descended slowly back to Earth, both enjoying the moment.
As Her Precious Friend and Comforter returned her to the earth, Beloved awakened to find herself in the same place, but she was not the same person and her accusers knew it.
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